Tuesday, March 01, 2005


Lunardi's latest Bracketology is out and I went through a mock bracket since that is the best way to spend my time. Pretty soon I will be making my own Bracketologies and posting them here. If you take a look at the way he sets it up, his Austin region is a veritable Murderer's Row with the top 4 seeds being Wake, Oklahoma State, Arizona, and Michigan State- all in my top 8 picks from last week's post in one bracket. Then you take a look at the Syracuse regional which has UNC, BC, Washington, and Utah as the top 4 seeds. Although Cuse only got a 4 seed, they share a bracket with Illinois, who in my opinion is ripe for the pickings. A small team which Warrick can absolutely dominate. So my Final Four based on this bracket is as follows:

Cuse vs. Kansas
Oklahoma State vs. UNC

UNC over Cuse in the finals.

That's the way it works. You remember I said that.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Judgement Week/March Madness Preview

Being "Judgement Week", I figured I would take this time to share my thoughts on the college basketball season thus far and the outlook going into 7UP Championship Week and of course the Tournament. You should accept my word as the truth as I routinely prognosticate winning brackets and understand who to bet on and against in a very tried and true method. Here are seven things to watch for over the next month:

-The Big East is the most competitive league in the country. Although the ACC has had its share of upsets and competition this year, it still is essentially dominated by UNC, Wake, and Duke (I will mention Maryland's impressive sweep of the Devils and not their losses to Miami and Clemson). But the Big East is competitive SEVEN teams deep. I tried writing it out last night like a "six degrees of seperation" in terms of which teams have beaten others, but there is no discernible pattern. BC beats Syracuse and UConn, but loses to Notre Dame and Nova, which Syracuse and UConn both manhandled. Pitt sweeps Cuse, but loses to West Virginia and Georgetown. UConn beats Syracuse and Georgetown but loses to Notre Dame and Pitt. Make no mistake, there is no clear cut favorite to win the Big East Title on the neutral court of MSG in 2 weeks.

-That being said, BC, while a competitive team, is a joke when looking towards the tourney. Yes they beat Syracuse, but it was by 5 points on their home court! And great student section for rushing the court after beating a lower ranked team. Talk about faithful fans. I'll peg them as the University of Pittsburgh Memorial Trophy winners for their Big East regular season title, but annual Sweet 16 Tourney collapse.

-Illinois will not make it past the Elite 8. Considering the draw they will have- first rounds in Indianapolis, Sweet 16 and 8 in Chicago, and the Final 4 in St. Louis, this could be a very risky prediction on my part. Remember Syracuse's trip through their bracket in 2003 went through Boston and Albany, with essentially home crowds. Maybe I just proved myself wrong, however, I see them as this year's Stanford. Michigan State, however, could be the ultimate sleeper. Tom Izzo's teams are extremely dangerous no matter their seeding in the tournament.

-Kentucky is the most fraudulent team year in and year out. Their poll ranking is inflated every year because they march through the watered down SEC in conference play. Remember their number 1 seed last year and yours truly having them losing in the second round to Washington. "You remember I said that, Dildo."

-Also never bet on Cincinnati (annual 5 seed upset, never covers spread), Florida, and any Bob Knight coached team. You'll win far more than you'll lose on this one. Trust me.

-Jay Bilas has gone from my least favorite commentator to my all time favorite due to his love for Cuse this year, even when they go on losing streaks.

-Depending on the seeding, here are my preliminary Final Four to advance in the Tourney:

UNC- most dominant team I have seen in College Basketball this year.
Oklahoma State- Too much experience with last year's squad; JamesOn Curry could be the difference.
Wake Forest- Their backcourt is the best in college basketball. Paul and Gray can take over any game.
Michigan State- As mentioned, never count out an Izzo team. Have the inside/outside threat with Davis and Hill.

but look out for:
Kansas- so many weapons if they can bounce back.
Connecticut- Villanueva looking like the star they thought he would be.
Arizona- Lute Olsen's team always ripe for a run. Salim can shoot them far.
Duke- Shelden Williams is the most underrated player in the country.

I am getting saturated just by writing the most rambling post in a while.

Friday, February 18, 2005

I Can't Get a Break

The Sports Guy has officially chosen his 25 finalists for his intern contest and I, depressingly, was not included. Normally I would not have a problem with it as there were 4500 entries and there are bound to be funnier, wittier writers out there, however, judging by the “winning” entries, I find that not to be the case. I am counting on the fact that I was at least in his top 100 that he speaks of because while there may be 5 or 6 finalists better than my own essay, there are not 90 others. For your reading pleasure, here is my entry for the contest, within the requisite 400 word parameters.

I am 25. I am retired. Retired being the most appealing synonym for gainfully unemployed. In my retirement, I have essentially been carrying out the duties of the intern position for the past 3 months without the glamourous title. I search the internet for the latest news on the cast of Laguna Beach instead of searching for a job (for the record, "Lo" is apparently dating your fellow Clippers fan Frankie Muniz). I wake up at 9am in the interest of being motivated like a real worker with the promise of landing a full-time job. Unfortunately, much of the day is spent emailing my friends about the promise of Syracuse Basketball backup center Daryl Watkins instead of emailing my George O’Leary-like embellished resume to prospective employers.

I should mention that this isn’t the first ESPN reality gig that I have tried out for, as I did in fact try out for the second season of Dream Job. Unfortunately, I sweated outside in the 90 degree Hollywood heat for four hours before being called in. Apparently the pit-stain look is not something that comes across well on camera. It probably didn’t help that I became Kenyon Martin during my Sportscenter monologue bit. However, I am proud of that fact that I aced the sports-trivia portion of the tryout, coming in first in my group of 50 applicants.

About me personally: I have worked in sports, most recently with the San Diego Padres in their front office, aspiring to be like April 1995's Employee of the Month, Theo Epstein. Count me in also as a New Englander who fled Boston for sunny California. Unfortunately, I prefer temperatures below 30 degrees and pasty, bitter, unattractive women so I moved back to the East Coast after the 2004 season. I live in New York City now and spend my time interviewing for sports jobs and performing Hall of Fame caliber temp work for unappreciative clients.

Finally, let’s be brutally frank. Wouldn’t it be better to have a 25 year old do this job? Someone clinging at the maximum age requirement, someone who will ambitiously search the internet for the best links, someone who will embrace the salary hand over fist, someone who can legally visit casinos, someone who calls 10am-2pm "prime-time". Or a college senior who hasn’t seen 10 a.m. since his freshman year? The choice is simple, Mr. Simmons- Me.

On the flip side, he put together a great O.C. vs 90210 tale of the tape that is worth your reading. You may also berate him about my glaring omission from his intern contest. (sigh, head droop)

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


"Smashed: The Story of a Drunken Girlhood"- the newest piece of work by another productive S.U. alumnus. Leave it to us to write about being Retired at 25 and binge drinking since age 14. They really have to work on the admissions criteria up there.

Natural Encounter

katie holmes, originally uploaded by blogjimmy.

Current Balance: $0.03
Available Balance: $0.03
Rate for messenger boy: $12/hour
Scheming to deliver goods to Katie Holmes at her apartment: Priceless

After a horrible day of roaming the streets of NYC delivering tickets for Fashion Week, I was finally rewarded with a special delivery. I was sent to deliver some duds from Vera Wang to Katie Holmes at her apartment. The people in charge strictly informed me that I was to leave the goods with her doorman and were not amused by my asking "Won't SHE want to meet me?". Unfortunately for them, there was a 0% chance I was leaving the gear with a doorman and not meet Katie Holmes. So I concocted a scheme to tell the doorman that she had to approve the clothes first before I left. I am smarter than anyone I know. Heart palpitating, I get by the doorman with relative ease and he points me to the elevator for her penthouse. Officially in, I get up to her apartment and ring her bell. There she was, in all of her natural glory to accept my delivery with a friendly hello and I answered with a hoarse, raspy "How are you?". If I recall incorrectly, she then asked me if I enjoyed chardonnay and soft music, to which I replied "Yes, and robes as well."

Although that last part only happened when I was sleeping, the rest of the story is true and she did give me a genuine smile and wishes for a great day. It should be noted for the record that Katie Holmes is Co's all time favorite Natural, even getting a #1 seed in Wass's old bracket if I remember correctly. I never gave her any credit due to her frankenstein eyes, but she was looking good today and will look good tonight again in my kleenex-filled dreams.