Where Have I Been?

In semi-retirement. Which is not as physically comfortable as all out retirement, but much more comfortable financially. I had a three day temp job to try and reacquaint myself with waking up before 9 am, wearing belts and shoes for the first time in months, and dusting off my Hall of Fame excel spreadsheet skills. Beautifully enough, the job was at a magazine publishing company oozing with well put together females. In fact, the lunch hour scenery was so magnificent I finally put an end to my 7 year hatred for cafeterias. There is little better way to spend a lunch hour than staring at professional women in business suits and choosing between the onion rings or the shepherd's pie. Unfortunately, this also means working for women which can be positive for the aforementioned reasons, or negative because of the overwhelmingly high levels of estrogen present.

I wasn't the only temp to start on Thursday. Rich was there too. But he was gone on the first day after being screamed at by a female "director" for not transferring a call correctly. On the second day I felt proud to still be there in the morning but also realized that the world of temp work is cutthroat and I would have to adjust. Some other kid was there on Friday, but he too did not return for the full three day assignment. Nope, only Jimmy survived the reality contest that was "The Temp" and completed the full three day assignment. Not that my road to the championship was filled with peaches and gravy. The following interaction occured on Friday with the lady I was working for:

Boss: "Do you know that you should be coming in to give me my messages?"
Jimmy: "Yes."
Boss: "Is that a message you are writing for me?"
Jimmy: "Yes."
Boss: "Why didn't you get up and walk over to my office with it?"
Jimmy: "Because you were not in your office."
Boss: "I still expect you to come to my office with my messages."
Jimmy: "Even if I know you are not in there, I am supposed to get up from my desk, walk in the doorway and check anyway?"
Boss: "Don't FUCK with me!"
Jimmy: "How can you be so obtuse?"

I was then sent to "the hole" for the weekend, which is why I have not posted in so long.

Actually the last "obtuse" line was made up for effect, but the rest of the conversation actually took place. Surprisingly she turned out to be very cool and I wanted to make out with her very badly, which thankfully did not get in the way of me performing All Star caliber temp work.

One final note- for one, Buckwheat Zydeco is playing in town on Friday night. Bucker is the premier party/boozin music and previous concerts have led to antics like Co spontaneously jumping up from the crowd onto stage at the House of Blues to bang on the keyboard. If you like eating jerky and drinking shots, this is the place to be. Second- BJ (an allstar from Vegas '03, Lobsterfest/Burgerfest, and this past New Years) will be in town for his 25th birthday. We will be celebrating at our palace (not a misprint) first and then heading out to ensure he is shaking through the uncontrollable laughs on Super Bowl Sunday. If nobody shows up to my second NYC get together I am officially moving home. Close friends Jenna and Barbara Bush are rumored to be attending.

6 Days- PATS YEAR ROUND.