Hello New York

I am officially here and set up for the most part in the big city. Writing to you as I look out on Madison Ave with my computer set up on the windowsill in a mildly bootleg, but very much space saving manner. I have many thoughts to share on the first week in NYC that I am working on but those will come at a later point. I am slightly hungover this morning after the first drinking in a socially acceptable manner with more than just myself, for the first time in months. Went to a bar around Avenue B which was a bit of a frightening area. Nothing like the cozy confines of my room with a bottle of wine and the O.C. message boards. The first bar had no sign outside and a bouncer who laughed at my ID. I think I look attractive. They played ridiculously fast techno music, the likes of which I had not heard since spring '99, and also showed the extremely graphic scenes of Clockwork Orange above the bar. Soon I was sweating, the environment increasing my intoxication level just by proximity. I had no idea people still did E. Needless to say, we felt out of place without our skateboards and hoodies so we moved on to a bar that had photos on the wall of old wrestling action figures like Captain Lou Albano and the Iron Sheik. Someone please tell me that that is an acceptable form of decoration. I did catch myself at one point, secretly enjoying the fact that I was in NYC and paying $8 for a drink.

And so it begins.

Enjoy the following link to the Bostonian of the Year, Theo Epstein.

The Big Day

Christmas was great, blah blah. Gifts that disappoint, family parties filled with too much egg nogg and ham. Mmmmmm, ham. Personal highlight: my in-the-bag 27 year old brother putting my 17 year old cousin in tears on Xmas eve after he bluntly tells her that she and her high school boyfriend won't get married, will break up in 3 months or less, and tries to shake hands to bet on it. All this, in front of the boyfriend's mortified father. Classy.

Tomorrow is the big move to NYC. Real heavy. Psyched, but at the same time, slightly edgy. I know once I get there that I will feel the rush and find my niche, but the first couple of weeks will likely be a challenge. I also don't know what I will do once my life changes from 10:00 wakeup calls and morning waffles to anticipated full time employment. I could be in for a rude awakening. In fact, I know I am in for a rude awakening, but that is why I am doing it. Retired at 25 isn't my desired state of being, it's just a self deprecating blog. It's time for me to make it official, get back to running the mouth, and get back to being A.B..

Wish me luck, see you in NYC.

My Wish List

amy smart
Originally uploaded by blogjimmy.

This is the gift I would like to most see under the tree tomorrow. A job would be cool as maybe, like, a stocking stuffer, but my first choice is Amy Smart. Hot, but not unattainable. Even could be considered "natural" in some circles.

My apologies for the lack of posts in the past few days, I had one up yesterday that mysteriously disappeared. I've actually had activities to take part of (online craps games). Enjoy the photo and have a Merry Christmas.

UPDATE: Love this photo. Love seeing it everytime my page loads. I am a pat of butter to the hot knife of her smile.

Like Howard and Annie Lederer

The ideas mentioned on my previous post "The Money and the Power" related directly to Vegas trips with my brother and the completely outlandish behavior that ensues. Naturally, within 30 minutes of picking him up from the airport this morning, he began coaxing me to put money on the Warriors (+3) tonight for their home game against the Grizzlies. Mind you I am no stranger to the sportsbook.com, having financed my retirement in their online craps room earlier this fall. It was apparent that they had just put the casino portion of their site in action and had yet to work out the kinks, as I proceeded to pillage them for close to $2000 over a two day period, having started with $50. And it was easy, we're talking roughly 75% of the rolls were hitting. They must've caught on to me, however, because I went in a week later feeling like a champ after a few Black Velvets, and lost $100 almost immediately, crapping out consecutively, and I haven't been back since.

Needless to say it didn't take very long to get back into my account this afternoon. I wasn't immediately coaxed into it, but after a little negotitating he offered to buy me an Ipod just to put money on the Warriors! It's easy being an enabler. Hell, I didn't care. A couple more AAdvantage miles on my credit card and I am qualified to own two bitter, forty-something flight attendants.

So I am in on the Warriors at home +3. Betting trends showed 85% of the money is on Memphis, but I paid that no mind. I also took the Celtics (-2.5) and their under against the Knicks (203) while I was there. And played some craps and blackjack, treading water for about 30 minutes.

Off to the gym to go bet on some three-point contests. Don't worry about me.

Would you?

nelson
Originally uploaded by blogjimmy.

Share a bed with Nelson, Pedro's friend, if you could routinely being home any girl you choose from the bar? She may or may not get after it with you, based on her reaction to your bedmate, but you would always have a shot. Sometimes he wouldn't be there, increasing your chances. On the flip side, on the nights you choose not to go out, it's just you and him.

Something's in the Air

Something is in the air. Up here in the arctic desert, it looks like we are in the midst of a nuclear storm. The sun is eerily masked by thick snow clouds. There is at least 8 inches of snow on the ground, blown in odd shaped snowdrifts. There are wild dogs/wolves running around the neighborhood in circles in sub-zero temperatures. Instead of tumbleweed, entire pine trees are blowing down the deserted streets and sidewalks. Mad Max just rode by on his motorcycle.

All of this comes after I proclaim "Pats Year Round" last night and they end up losing to the 2-11 Dolphins on Monday Night Football. Tom Brady throws four interceptions. The Pats, previously 19-1 since 2001 in games decided by 7 points or less, turn the ball over with less than two minutes to play. Tom Brady throws four interceptions and doesn't lead them on a game winning drive at the end. Traditionally, the Dolphins visit to Foxboro in December has been part of their annual collapse on their way to a first round playoff loss. For the first time in years the Pats go to Miami in December....and lose.

Additionally, the Red Sox traded Dave Roberts to the Padres for Jay Payton and Ramon Vazquez. This was done solely to make me irate, as I have a huge issue with Jay Payton. Break up the championship team even more for an anemic centerfielder. I'm not even going to get into it, but for fun, have a look at his head!

I'll have more fun stuff later, maybe some photos and some "would you rathers?".

Pats Year Round

I woke up this morning early again for an informational interview I had scheduled and checked the weather forecast, as my hands were too cold to even celebrate with myself (Lester Burnham style). Of course my weather.com page still opens up to San Diego's forecast where I get to see that it is 70 and mostly sunny even at 4:40 in the morning. As I type in my current zip code it tells me it is 4 degrees, but that it "feels like -11". Awesome.

The interview itself went well, although I could've been either way over-prepared or under-prepared, having never had an "informational" interview. The guy was cool, lived in San Diego for a while and when I told him I had worked for the Padres, he asked me if I knew a lady friend of his who worked there. I had told him that the name sounded familiar. Meanwhile I walked by this chick's cube every day stealing glimpses with my x-ray vision and offering awkward, hoarse "hello's." As if he was a mind-reader, the following exchange occurred:

Interviewer: "She's hot"
Jimmy: (reverently) "Yes. She really is."
I: (standing up excitedly) "Let's call her!"
J: (stammering) "Uh, I didn't really know her that well, I used to just walk by her cube and look at her."

Yup. Classy guy right here. I spent the rest of the interview feeling as ashamed as if I had made love to myself into an old sock for the third time that day. But overall I think it went well, "I made some amazing points, got some good contacts, and even finagled some professional literature off of his bookshelf. Unfortunately it was not of the self-help variety, which I clearly am in need of.

On another note, it appears that Philadelphia has taken the Cursed Sports City title from Boston with T.O. lost for the season. It's been building for years down there, most likely due to the awful karma from their BITTER residents, fans, and media (see Stephen A. Smith for example). "You don't know. You've NEVER BEEN THERE!"

Meanwhile, I grow increasingly more frustrated at the hometown front office for their mediocre transactions and have officially declared to Merriman for the first time since the World Series victory, "Pats Year Round". For those of you not in the know, "Pats Year Round" was proposed by Merriman this past June during one of the Sox typical 4 or 5 game summer losing streaks. At our wits end, I had decided to shift my allegiance to the surging Devil Rays who had won 14 straight, and promptly ordered my Aubrey Huff jersey. While this idea tempted Merriman, he flat out rejected the notion of following baseball altogether and suggested point blank "Pats. Year Round." While this may not make sense or humor anyone else, coming from the easily riled up Merriman, (after game 3 of the 2004 ALCS, a bitter Merriman verbally accosted me for continuing to hold on to the possibility that the sox could win) it was highly entertaining.

The Money and The Power

Do you love Vegas? Does the sound of slot machines jingling make you moist? Have you ever tried to find a sound clip of this noise because it elicits such feelings of euphoria inside of you? Does the smell inside Mandalay Bay make you completely saturated? Do you feel most comfortable in 100 degree, dry, desert heat? Besides the lobby of Mandalay Bay, have you ever smelled anything finer than stripper perfume? Do you ever fantasize about stacks of chips so high that you can't even see over them? Have you ever placed $1000 or more on the outside at the roulette table? Do you enjoy stretching your money clip wide and seeing it filled with nothing but hunnies? Do you enjoy financing fat steak dinners accompanied by only the finest wines by hitting hard sixes? Is your idea of relaxing a hot volcanic rock massage comped by a pit boss who you've made your bitch?

If you've answered yes to any of these questions, you are definitely not a female, but on the off chance you are, I would like to share the rest of my life with you. You also may want to check out this book I just finished reading called, "The Money and the Power". It's an amazing look at the rise of the United States during the 20th century and the role Las Vegas plays in virtually every major political event, election, and business deal of the past 100 years. Coincidentally, as Las Vegas had an effect on the country's rise, so rose the role of the Syndicate in the political dealings of the United States. It was surprising to learn how closely associated the Kennedy family and Presidents Nixon and Reagan were with the central figures in organized crime. Contrasting my prior naivety, some disturbingly similar election scnearios as those that played out in 2000 and 2004, occurred in the major elections of the last half of the century, all made possible by shady Las Vegas deals and campaign funding via casino money laundering. As it is a non-fictional historical look at Vegas, it's not as sexy as a "Bringing Down the House" per say, and can be a little dry, but from an American history standpoint, it is an important resource. And what's better than a book with the mob and casinos as main characters?

On another note, I just inhaled a fat steak dinner. I don't know what I'm going to do when I move out.

The Cut-Off Point

Day 3 of waking up before 7:30 am is upon me and taking a toll on your boy big time. I don't understand three days of service on a broken door lock that still actually worked about 50% of the time. When I spoke to the service guy yesterday, he informed me that they have it working about 70% of the time (after two days in the shop) now, which gives me an estimated completion date of never. I don't even want the car any more, just keep it. And I don't know why they feel they have to go over every problem with me in car-shop talk like I'm Mad Mike at West Coast Custom. Talking about kick dashes and asking me if I installed any additional circuitry under the dash. Yeah buddy, I was trying to put some plasma screens and a dishwasher in my trunk and I got stuck on my door lock.

Stopped by Starbucks on the way home from dropping mom off at work for some lukewarm single malt hot chocolate. I felt like Mikey from Swingers in Vegas, "I didn't even want it, I just wanted to order it" and be in the presence of some 1's and 2's on their way to work in their business suits. And me in my sweatpants. I am a scumbag.

Got into the wines a bit last night for Chrismukkah in Newport Beach. I've found I have to dull my senses for this season's episodes in order to be surprised by the otherwise completely predictable story lines. The discount merlot was flowing like water, allowing me to pencil in Coop as an early favorite for an Emmy. I knew I had reached the cut-off point when during the Apprentice finale, I thought to myself, "wow, short Stacy looks HOT!"

And yes I spend much of my day on Craig's List searching for "Casual Encounters".

Chrismukkah is here

chrismukkah
Originally uploaded by blogjimmy.

Chrismukkah is upon us, tonight at 8pm. Hopefully Summer ditches that grandma outfit she's got in the picture. That would be my Chrismukkah wish.


Boston.com had this headline this morning.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand.....Good Afternoon Everybody!

First of all, congratulations to Mike and the Mad Dog for 15 years on the air. My earliest memory came from listening to their Braves/Twins World Series coverage in 1991 as a husky 7th grader. Thankfully YES network broadcasts their show on cable up here, making an afternoon in retirement absolutely glorious. Nothing like watching a radio broadcast on television, but they manage to keep me entertained and informed in the otherwise uncompetitive 1:30-6:30 time slot. I'm sure certain readers employed by WEEI in Boston won't hesitate to get sandy with me about this shout-out, but remember, you have the highest ratings in the Nation. WEEI's hosts are about as cool as Clams Loaf's website, but your producers are well versed in college sports.

Sox signed Renteria today and I really have no emotion about it at all. Great, Edgar Renteria. I understand we have to sign a shortstop and he's the best available so I accept it, but I am not overly enthused. If it was "The Man", however, it'd be an entirely different story. I will point out, that at $10 mil per, he's a relative bargain considering we offered Nomar $15 mil last year which he turned down. For that I am thankful. Rent is also a better hitter than Cabrera and supposedly has better range. I'm still hoping they keep Hanley and bring him up (nothing like cheap talent developed in your system), although it is a catch 22 whether or not to deal him for better starting pitching (Burnett, Sheets, or Hudson). I have confidence in the front office to get it done or else it could truly shift to "Pats Year Round".

On another note, these holiday gifts can be mailed to me at any time. I think the silver one would be the money when I mingle in NYC and, like a glass of Zin and some Johnny Mathis, would most definitely have the ladies eating out of my hand.

Finally, I just listened to an Air album I used to listen to all the time in H-Town's 'Burban, riding home 'ammered to the Village, circa fall 2001. Made me finally emerge from that Maker's induced blackout of a Fall. Get your 'Burban on while you can, rumor has it that it may be gone come springtime.

Vote For Your Favorite Caption

-

a) "Gene Simmons and Santa Claus share a tender moment"
b) "Ha Ha! There's no way that's bigger than a chapstick tube"
c) "I am a robot, unfazed by the possibility of oral sex. Additionally, even with my x-ray vision, I am still trying to steal a glimpse of your thong."

Rise and Darkness

The 7 am wake up call this morning was absolutely bad times all around. I haven't woken up to an alarm in a long time and almost had a panic attack when it sounded. My car needed service as the drivers side door lock won't respond to the remote and since I am too lazy to turn the key in the door to unlock it, it needed to be fixed, and this was the only time to bring it in. Yesterday, it wouldn't even open, which was most likely due to being parked outside in the barren tundra, so I was forced to crawl all 6 foot 3 inches of myself through the passenger side in a fantastic Carly Patterson-like show of flexibility. Needless to say I was like the walking dead as I went into the service place this morning and was asked no less than 3 times how I was, in more concerned tones than just general small talk.

As painful as it was, it is strangely enjoyable to be part of the land of the living again and made me feel productive. I plan on getting through all the tasks on my to-do list and find myself a job.

"I will sell this house today! I will sell this house today!"

Lonely Tuesday Evenings

In order to cope with the onset of shakes and sweats due to a tuesday night without Laguna Beach, I am drying out myself (and probably my readers) with the latest Pedro talk:


"Pedro is very good, but I believe the word is, one of the Red Sox front office guys said, if they had the three-year $40.5 million contract with the 252 perks, said to me 'this contract is going to cause us more anxiety than anything, there's no way to get a penny of insurance... if you look at Pedro's baserunners per nine innings, hits per nine innings, strikeout to walk ratios, they've all gone south dramatically in the last five years, strikeouts per nine innings pitched too.' Those are indicators that the stuff is not there. He had a 5.00 ERA when he pitched in a normal rotation on four days rest. Tom Verducci admired what Pedro did in the post-season, pointing out that his three good starts were on 7-8-and-7 days rest. And then when he pitched on four days rest, he didn't pitch well. I really worry for Omar Minaya that this could be a terrible deal.

And I'll tell you why I object to Fern Cuza. I think the right thing is to do the best thing for your client. And the best thing for your client whose already made $92 million and is guaranteed $133 million dollars. He's allowed to do basically what he wants to do. People leave him alone. Nobody made a big stink about his not going to the sixth game of the Yankees series, which I still think is preposterous. But in New York, well over half the media view him as a complete and utter mercenary who grovels to get one extra dollar. Pedro does not take kindly to any criticism. He's going to get killed in New York. And with the franchise run by a PR guy from New York named Stu Sucherman, cause he has the final say on every decision made because he's Fred Wilpon's PR hack, I just think he's in for big trouble. I think he could be miserable, or it's obvious there's a chance he's gonna break down. This has all the earmarks of a disaster and an ugly way for his career to end." -- Peter Gammons on WEEI's Big Show

Yikes!

For more Gammons on 'Dro, check out http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/gammons/story?id=1946349

My last hour

I've spent the past hour (we'll call it my "lunch hour") doing two things. One was applying for a job with the Mets. Shit, if Pedro can get 4 years/$56 mil, I should at least be able to pull in a good $12-13 per hour....part time. I mean, I've worked in the Padres system and am 7 years younger. Unfortunately the online application would not allow my resume to be uploaded and with my ambition wilting with a tray of brownies waiting for me in the kitchen, I ended negotiations and called the deal off.

However, the other part of my lunch hour was spent assisting a female friend (shocking, I know) in her online shopping, essentially approving or disapproving of potential purchases. Now while it's possible that I started our conversation about those awesome tank top shirts girls wear that look like lingerie and perhaps tried to peer pressure her into buying some, we'll continue with the story as if I was innocently minding my business and had these pictures shoved at me for approval.

Although these shirts may be "out" as of now, especially in NYC, I will remind you that I am in upstate NY, where Zubaz pants are the hottest holiday gift. And if you are under the impression that I spend my day in too-small sweatpants from high school, you are correct, and may not believe that these pictures were found by somebody else, but I assure you they were. Like Moe from the Simpsons, I only look at the girls in the Sears catalog. Also, these pictures make my website sexy, and by default, me as well. Here are a couple of the possible purchases that were subject to my approval:

2 

A

Along with heart palpitations, I was also subject to a number of other reactions, mostly from the robe in the first picture. If you know me, you'll recall the sucess of the now famous Robe Party in 2003, which turned the loft upside down and brought robe wearing to a small mainstream population. You also probably can tell most of the value I get from robes is in "unintentional comedy". So of course, while she is thinking of buying the little teddy, and thus arousing a lonely 25 year old sitting at home, I am pushing for her to buy the accompanying robe with its special fur trim. My friend obviously now thinks I am weird and creepy and asks me, but after enough persuasion, "What could I do with a robe?" turned into, "I guess I could make breakfast in it". Yes!!!

Again, this is all for my entertainment value, which reminds me of the time in high school my one friend Scott and I tried to convince our buddy Sol, who loved working out almost as much as himself, to buy a retro Michael Jordan jersey in a way too tight size small. After 10 minutes of "Oh yeah, man, you look big!" and "Ashley will love you in it!" the $120 was spent. Then of course we spent 2 years pressuring him to wear just that, with no shirt under it into school for a day, which unfortunately, for our entertainment purposes never happened.

Alright, time to go shovel my car out of the igloo formed around it.

Picture Time!

Massive Party Time! I finally got pictures up on the website and although something a bit more sultry and blonde would have lured some more readers, what better way to initiate the photos then with the big news of Pedro following me to NY. I could argue both sides of Pedro staying or going but in the idea of keeping the site mildly interesting, I'll spare the burgeoning readership the baseball stats. I am slightly disappointed, only because I was conned into buying this stupid bootleg "Vote For Pedro" t-shirt at the parade a few months back when I was just drunk and had a severe case of the friendly eyes. The shirt is not even remotely clever, funny, or fashionable and the back of it says "He'll Make All of Your Wildest Dreams Come True" which definitely casts a weird homosexual overtone that I should try to avoid in my wardrobe. I will say this- Classic Mets. $56 mil for a 6 inning pitcher. Of course I could be eating those words along with a side of Roger Clemens come next year.

On a retirement related side note, I just finished watching the RealWorld/RoadRules challenge and am having a difficult time with the casting choices. I can count maybe one or two girls higher than maybe a 2 left on this show and that's pushing it. Why did they have to axe Cameran and Kina so early on? It kills me. One of my buddies tried to tell me Tonya was hot, but she's a scrunchie and a pair of ProKeds away from being a server at the Terre Haute Ruby Tuesday's (or possibly a worker bee at Pru SoCal). Sadly, that is more employment than I currently have so I really shouldn't comment. I could go a lot further right now, but I don't need to further alienate my 1.5 female readers. I can already picture the "What about Arissa? She's beautiful" comments coming my way.

Till tomorrow with some better photography.

My new bed

I realize yesterday's baseball post might have been a little inside, but considering my readership (possibly not a real word) consists of only me, I think I'm okay on that. I'd like to post some photos on here to actually attract readers, but I've been blocked from most of the Laguna Beach and O.C. websites for general creepiness. Plus, there's some heavy HTML code involved in making this website as interactive and entertaining as it is so I am working on that. Rest assured, however, that I will be adding "Proficient with HTML" to the resume today.

So I went to buy a bed yesterday for the move to NYC and I found out that it's easier to get a rockhammer into Shawshank than it is to get anything delivered to Manhattan. I actually found a place that will deliver it, but after watching this lady enter information into the computer I'm holding my breath. Her name was Su-Yuan and apparently they have to login to the computer before they can access any information. I watched her attempt this and here's an idea of what it looked like on screen

>SYK
>SYK
>SYK
>SYK
>logSYKin:
>SYK
password:
>SYK SYK SYK
>invaSYKlid loginSYK
>SYK
>SYKlogin:

It was probably the most awesome display of computer working I've ever seen. Finally after about 3 minutes of this, she got in, completely by chance. Then she asked the zip code of delivery and 10016 became 100000078. And this wasn't a typo, this was her actual interpretation of what I said, paying no regard to standard 5 digit zip code, nor the computer howling in apparent pain. Thankfully she let me take over to put the name and address in the system or my bed would be on it's way to Ft. Wayne. I think it's safe to say that I have a 50-60% chance of actually ever seeing this bed.

Hot Stove Thoughts

Baseball's winter meetings are taking place as we speak in Anaheim, California (part of the O.C. if you didn't know), and as expected, Theo and the Sox are making the majority of the moves. I freaking love this guy. He comes into the league as a rookie GM at age 28 and within two years he is the most powerful GM in baseball. No other GM thinks or acts as aggressively as Theo when it comes to making trades and signing free agents. And even though he is conditioning Red Sox Nation, the most emotionally attached group of fans, to be less emotionally attached to their players with his cold negotiating stance, the fact of the matter is that he gets it done and fears nobody. Proof in the pudding: as a 25 year old who, while graced with "the friendly eyes" at the Padres Xmas party a few years back, he told veteran manager Bruce Bochy that he couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag. Balls!

Which brings me to his most recent move, that of signing 41 year old David Wells to a two year deal. First reaction was overwhlemingly positive. He's guaranteed only $8 million on the books for two years, $3 mil of which is signing bonus. The rest is tied to incentives. In between eating all the free snacks and wolfing down the free cokes in the Padres front office last season, I actually made to some games and watched him pitch, which he still can. While his 12-8 record doesn't look good on paper, realize the minimal run support of 4.4 per game he had behind him, and the striking fact that he had four ND's because of blown saves. Three of which came from Trevor Hoffman himself. So he very easily could have been 16-8, and potentially even better had the anemic Padre offense produced. Tack on his 3.73 ERA, and his positive influence on the young Padres pitching staff, and that's a pretty good bargain if you ask me. Speaking of the Padres pitching staff, Jake Peavy will be a top 5 Cy Young candidate by the time the season is over. And he will be starting the all star game. Mark it, dude.

There is the possibility that all statistics above are wrong, but they prove my point well, so just go with them.

My one concern is the thought that he will blend in with the "idiots" in Boston. Writers are commenting that this is a positive thing. People forget that Wells was a liability before he went to San Diego because of his back that forced him out of the World Series in 2003. Not only that, but his off the field antics were cause for concern. He was on a very short leash in San Diego and the clubhouse was as straight laced as they come (see Mark Loretta). Now picture him in a clubhouse with Kevin Millar (who initiated the "shots before we take the field" stance during the playoffs). That's like putting me in the Laguna Beach jacuzzi with LC and Lo. It's not productive, not healthy, and should be illegal. Although I gotta give credit to Talan for immediately propositioning the threesome, before they had even fully immersed themselves into the hottub.

I forgot to put the space between hot and tub there and immediately burst into hysterics thinking of the "hottub" at the prestigious Welshley Arms hotel from SNL lore.

I apologize for that digression, I don't know where I was going with that. Overall, I am pleased with the move, but don't be surprised if you see him pulling beerwolfs at Daisy's on game nights. But if this guy pitched his perfect game with a raging hangover (which by the way gives him the highest level of street cred in my book), I will be following him around Beantown with a tray of shots.

Blogons

I'm already starting to question this blog idea, not even a couple hours into it. I can't even set the damn thing up correctly. Just getting the right time zone became an issue- I am baffled but mildly intrigued by the endless possibilities of time zones to choose from on here as there were about 28 different choices for America. This was highlighted by "America- Ft. Wayne". Fort Wayne, Indiana? This was the most representative city of the Central Time Zone? There wasn't even a choice for Chicago. I can kind of see their point. If you've ever been to the midwest you wouldn't want to know what time it is either, you'd just want the nightmare to be over.

Additionally, I tried to add links to those other blogs in my first post to no avail. I thought I was good with computers. Apparently spending 11 hours surfing the internet every day, checking your yahoo inbox that never has any new messages doesn't make one a whiz.

Furthermore, I tried to send the link to a friend to check it out and it didn't work. By friend, of course, I'm referring to the generic instant messenger screen names I send things to. You know, like "John". You ever wonder who got the first screen name "John"? I'd like to send an online greeting card to that email address just congratulating him for being the first one and living an easy life, never forgetting his complex login. I tried signing up for this thing and "Jimmy" was already taken naturally. Instead I was given the option of "Tommy9239". You mean to tell me the closest they could come to Jimmy was Tommy? I'm thinking of legally changing my name to something alpha-numeric just so I can login to websites easier.

I'll remind you that it is very much a Saturday night and I am doing this. Fantastic. Somebody please poison me.

Time for the Heisman trophy award ceremony. Reggie Bush is my pick. Doesn't have the stats, but easily the most talented player in college football. If they give to Peterson after not giving it to Larry Fitzgerald last year, or decide to give it to Jason White again, I will officially light myself on fire.

More on David Wells later.

The Beginning

It's amazing how far the internet will take you when you should be immersing yourself into more productive things like searching for jobs, cutting and pasting others' cover letters as your own, and embellishing your resume like you're a college football coach. After hours of googling things like "High School Girls Tennis Team Photos" and "Consumer Reports- Waffles", I came across manhattan transfer's blog, which lead me to IJC, Tennessee Whiskey, and Kiki. All were highly entertaining, with just the right blend of wit, sarcasm, and drunken stories that I try to live vicariously through. Of course, it could also be due to the fact that I am gainfully unemployed and have been living at home for the past 2+ months, where daily highlights include the annoyed phone call from Mom that wakes me up every morning asking about daily job prospects to the awkward daily small talk with the gay 60 year old neighbor. I should also add that home is in the arctic desert of upstate NY where the sun sets at shortly after noon. Clearly I have little life and a huge need for an outlet for these types of stories.

While I'll probably get bored of this by the end of the month when I shockingly plan on moving out or realize what a loser I am, I do have many thoughts to share from the past couple of months, as well as the daily stream of consciousness that comes with doing absolutely nothing while on the job hunt. Expect some bad interview stories, useless baseball opinions, descriptive details on characters and episodes of O.C. and MTV reality marathons, as well as the overwhleming presence of elastic in my daily wardrobe.

Stay tuned.